10 Steps to Manifest Loving Relationships According to Jason Nelson

1. Responsibility: Choose to take responsibility for what you are creating.

2. Mirroring: See your relationship as a mirror, the person is a reflection of what you are attracting with your beliefs.

3. Gratitude: Be grateful to the universe for making you aware of what you are creating.

4. Breathe: Breathe deep and release to calm your mind, open your heart and relax your body, so you may connect with your spirit.

5. Challenge List: Make a challenge list of everything in your relationship that is not serving your highest potential.

6. Transform: Transform each item into its antithesis to create your new vision of the relationship.

7. New Vision: Add any other qualities to your new vision you would like to experience with this type of relationship.

8. Certainty: Know that you are creating your new vision of this relationship.

9. Celebrate: When you experience the new qualities celebrate them.

10. Awareness: Be aware if you experience anything that is not in alignment with your highest vision of this relationship and go through the ten steps again.

You will eventually live in this new vision and probably have yet another new vision to create. That is the beauty of relationships. They are ever inspiring us to grow. If we seize the opportunity and surrender to a grander vision of our loving selves, we will embrace the ultimate expression of life.

If we consider everything we do comes from a place of wanting to feel loved, we understand that we all have different versions of love. What version of love do you have? Is your version unconditional, no matter what people do, they are good and can do no wrong?

Is your version conditional, people are wrong or right and everyone falls into these categories? But there are bad people, you might say. ŒBad’ people exist in one version of love but in another nonjudgmental, soulful, empowering, freeing, unified field of love; there are only good people.

What it comes down to is, we are all doing the best we can in each moment given what is available to us. If we could have performed better, we would have, it is as simple as that. We often wonder how things could have been different in hindsight, but the point is to learn from the past and adjust our direction in the moment, not to dwell with judgment.
Below is a love test. You will find a list of universal loving and unloving qualities. The test will guide you through some simple qualifiers to see just how loving your relationship is. Please think of one relationship at a time. Check the qualities that apply to how you feel with each relationship.

THE LOVE TEST

Universal Loving Qualities

– Acceptance
– Unity
– Understanding
– Freedom
– Empowerment
– Patience
– Respect

Universal Unloving Qualities

– Conditions
– Separation
– Blame
– Control
– Disempowerment
– Impatience
– Disrespect

Every relationship brings us closer to what we truly want. Changing the type of people we bring into our life is not about them but about us. Ultimately everyone serves us because they bounce back to us what our thinking is creating. Every person who shows up in our life shows up for a reason. Using the ten steps to manifest loving relationships will bring us closer to our greatest potential with more peace and love.

36 Questions That Lead to Love

In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.

The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.

The final task Ms. Catron and her friend try — staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes — is less well documented, with the suggested duration ranging from two minutes to four. But Ms. Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes somewhere.”

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

4 Steps to Practice Nurturing and Nourishing Yourself with Self-Compassion

1. Tune into your awareness.

Deepening your connection to yourself means becoming aware of the physical sensations and emotions that you feel each day instead of letting the millions of thoughts that travel through your mind each day take over.

It can be as simple as pausing at the end of a task or activity. Notice how your body feels without rushing to label what you are sensing as good or bad. This might take practice, and it might be subtle at first. Invite your body to be a benevolent messenger of information even for sensations that feel less than delicious.

2. Ask yourself: What is going right in this moment?

This gratitude practice helps you move from noticing the gaps toward the celebration of wins big and small.

When I went surfing recently, our instructor encouraged us to make a big first pump after every wave we “caught” regardless of how long we rode the wave of energy or whether we stayed on our belly or popped up. Noticing the victories—no matter the size or magnitude—sends a message that the journey is more important than the final destination.

3. Check in with your truth: Is your day full of “have to’s” or “want to’s”?

This is a big one. Making a list of priorities and things to do can be a great tool to stay focused, except when everything on that list is out of alignment with your values.

Sure, there are some things in life that just have to get done. Maybe you can ask for help with tasks that bring up intuitive flags, or maybe you can find some aspect of the task to get excited about and change the perspective. Or maybe, you can simply let that task go.

Recently, a friend asked me if I’d be at one of our favorite power vinyasa classes. As much as I wanted to see my friend, I noticed a gentle tug in my heart and I took a moment to get quiet and check in with my truth.

That class felt like a should, based on a belief that I needed to keep up with the practice that I’d depended on to build physical and mental strength. But what I was really craving was something quieter. Something that would nourish that which was hidden. A yin practice. So I said no and cherished a nurturing and nourishing home practice, knowing that I could make plans to see my friend another time.

4. Make a list of what feels delicious to your heart, mind, and body and then let yourself play.

Do you love coffee? Find a lovely new cafe for a midday treat.

Does paddleboarding light you up? Rent one or take a class.

Play—even quiet activities like going for an evening walk, taking a bath, or spending an evening reading—nourishes the heart and mind. In fact, play helps inspire creativity and often makes us more productive, even when we’ve taken time off to engage in the activity.